I hope you live a life that you’re proud of and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.-Benjamin Button

Time heals all wounds

To me; fearless is not the absence of fear. its not being completely unafraid. to me; fearless is having fears. fearless is having doubts. lots of them. to me; fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. fearless is falling madly in love again; even though you’ve been hurt before. fearless is walking into your freshmen year of high school at fifteen. fearless is getting back up & fighting for what you want over and over again; even though every time you’ve tried before, you’ve lost. its fearless to have faith that someday things will change. fearless is having the courage to say goodbye to someone who only hurts you, even if you can’t breathe without them. i think its fearless to fall for your best friend, even though hes in love with someone else. & when someone apologizes to you enough times for things they’ll never stop doing, i think its fearless to stop believing them. its fearless to say “you’re not sorry”, and walk away. i think loving someone despite what people think is fearless. i think allowing yourself to cry on the bathroom floor is fearless. letting go is fearless. then, moving on and being alright; thats fearless too. but no matter what love throws at you, you have to believe in it. you have to believe in love stories & prince charmings & happily ever after. thats why i write these songs. because i think love is fearless.~Taylor swift

Friday, November 28, 2008

history repeats itself


omg my mom is ughhh .. she gave me and my sister money to go shopping never told us wat to sped it on .. just that we should have fun and trust me ..WE DID! so then she starts yelling at me cause i put all the money towards my itouch and my money towards presents for people and i didnt even buy everyone i wanted to a present all i got was : ariella,sarah, megan, liz,maggie , and thats it (my mom didnt even ask who maggie is .. shocker there) ... and omg i love buying things for people as presents!~!!!! so now im pissed cause my siter and i were having a perfect time on black friday and then my mom fucken ruined it LIKE ALWAYS!!!

I love how my mom is sooo like omg!!! shes like why do u need 2 fedoras and im like cause one liz gave me and one i bought myself .. and shes like oh so ull throw out the one liz gave u and omg i was like "NO!" and i wont!!! EVER!!!!! its like my life !!! i love that fedora!

OMFG!!! so this guy scott last year sexually and verbally harassed me and just now while i was tlaking to my friend maggie he like came in closed the door and like touched my leg and then layed down n touched my hyp and then hugged me a bunch of times n felt me up and touched my stomach and the inside of my thy .. btw thats how i get turned on .. yes the inside of my thy ... u go there n god only nos .. so i just kept iming maggie ugh ... n then i wonder why im not attracted to guys geez .. like ewww he was like all over me i just want to go in a corner n cry but i cant even tell ne one but my friends (close close close friends) I just .. ughh i want to go throw up ewww. so yes this is very traumatic i mean he did this to me last year too and while i liked him non the less and now n he put his hand on my back and pushed it down to my butt ... ugh .... ugh ... UGH!!!

the thing is he always says how much he loves girls but honestly .... if he really loved girls he would treat them with respect and pleasure them wen they wanted to be pleasured and talked to them when they want to be talked to. I guess the truth is when it comes down to it .. lesbians just do it better (litterally heehee)

any ways that grose feeling that made me cut last year is here again right now as i type .. this very second .. i just dont no wat to do ne more .. i guess all i have to do is make it throught tonight and ill be ok ... ill be ok until that crave comes back



ps. im staying up till 2 and eating food <33333333
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