I hope you live a life that you’re proud of and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.-Benjamin Button

Time heals all wounds

To me; fearless is not the absence of fear. its not being completely unafraid. to me; fearless is having fears. fearless is having doubts. lots of them. to me; fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. fearless is falling madly in love again; even though you’ve been hurt before. fearless is walking into your freshmen year of high school at fifteen. fearless is getting back up & fighting for what you want over and over again; even though every time you’ve tried before, you’ve lost. its fearless to have faith that someday things will change. fearless is having the courage to say goodbye to someone who only hurts you, even if you can’t breathe without them. i think its fearless to fall for your best friend, even though hes in love with someone else. & when someone apologizes to you enough times for things they’ll never stop doing, i think its fearless to stop believing them. its fearless to say “you’re not sorry”, and walk away. i think loving someone despite what people think is fearless. i think allowing yourself to cry on the bathroom floor is fearless. letting go is fearless. then, moving on and being alright; thats fearless too. but no matter what love throws at you, you have to believe in it. you have to believe in love stories & prince charmings & happily ever after. thats why i write these songs. because i think love is fearless.~Taylor swift

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

My GSA speech ... still nervious

So basically everything is done except one more regents and then I'm done with my regents forever.. which is amazing.. And I had my AP yesterday which was so much easier than I thought it would be. I wore the tie that sarah has for goodluck and Lizz's jesus bracelet lol ... And My sisters home from college .. which is alright .. I mean my mom and step dad always always complain to me about her which I'm so sick of. But Ron should be living on the boat soon and then my sisters going to London this weekend for 6 weeks and my mom should be going to the boat on weekends .. which will give me the house to myself ... which is exciting and scary all at the same time. I know I havent written on here in a while but I have been busy .. I still am I just have today free and all. Theres another person running for vice president of GSA and I'm really nervious about when we vote because I don't think I'll be reelected and I am going to be a senoir next year and it would mean the world to me. so far my speech (which I will just speak .. I'm not writting anything down.) is this:

I have been thinking about what I would say for the past few weeks and it has given me a lot of time to think. When I was a freshman I was part of GSA but barely went to the meetings, I was shy (still am), but I was scared and in the closet and lost and ashamed. Then towards the end of the year I started going to the meetings and I heard the conversations and saw how people were so open about who they were. Then I became a sophomore and wanted to be part of GSA because I really did feel like it was my family. Last year when I was voted vice president I got so excited I wanted to make a difference and make GSA better, but (going back to what sue said a few weeks ago) I lost the concept of GSA I forgot the reason why I loved it so much. And I will admit GSA this year SUCKED .. it did. But If you vote me vice president we will become a family again, we will come together, because its not about the fundraisers or assemblies, no ... its about being able to be your complete self in this club. Because of this club I am myself now. It would mean the world to me if i was able to be vice president one last time before I graduate. I would be honored to graduate as the vice president and be able to give people a place  of home where they can come and find themselves and help other people feel accepted aswell. 


People like Ryan Cassata make me believe in myself. People like him give me hope to keep going on and living and fighting for what I want. They give me courage and I wish I knew more people who were this amazing. I hardly even know this kid, which really makes me sad but what hes done at his age makes me know that it will all be ok someday. And yeah ... just had to put that in 


My friend and I were talking a while ago and she said something about being bi not being who I am. Its a part of me, but its not who I am. I'm not a person who cuts. I'm not an anorexic. I'm not bi. I am Samantha Haley. Thats who I am. I love jiujitsu, hate skating, guess which one I have dont longer .. hahaa but jiujitsu makes me happy and want to keep living and loving and fighting .. because in the end its always I can I will I must. 


look back to no regrets. xD
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