I hope you live a life that you’re proud of and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.-Benjamin Button

Time heals all wounds

To me; fearless is not the absence of fear. its not being completely unafraid. to me; fearless is having fears. fearless is having doubts. lots of them. to me; fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. fearless is falling madly in love again; even though you’ve been hurt before. fearless is walking into your freshmen year of high school at fifteen. fearless is getting back up & fighting for what you want over and over again; even though every time you’ve tried before, you’ve lost. its fearless to have faith that someday things will change. fearless is having the courage to say goodbye to someone who only hurts you, even if you can’t breathe without them. i think its fearless to fall for your best friend, even though hes in love with someone else. & when someone apologizes to you enough times for things they’ll never stop doing, i think its fearless to stop believing them. its fearless to say “you’re not sorry”, and walk away. i think loving someone despite what people think is fearless. i think allowing yourself to cry on the bathroom floor is fearless. letting go is fearless. then, moving on and being alright; thats fearless too. but no matter what love throws at you, you have to believe in it. you have to believe in love stories & prince charmings & happily ever after. thats why i write these songs. because i think love is fearless.~Taylor swift

Thursday, November 5, 2009

things i cant really explain


Heyyy .. sooo well what has happend ?? I wrote that article and the news paper people LOVED it! they loved it soo much they invited me to write another one! and it will be in the december/january news paper for he school! So I went to that party the one with baca and liz .. and it was soo much fun! liz is such an amazing friend! and The thing is .at the party she told me she likes me and i was just like well i like her too! lol but she was saying that she doesnt want a relationship right now. Why is it all the people i like dont want to date? its fine if she doesnt want to date right now atleast shes telling me right off the bat and i didnt like her not nearly as much as i like baca. I asked him out last night. This is just a huge set up for me to get hurt because i already know wat the answer is, I knew wat the answer was in august when i first asked it. I just kept adding time to procrastinate getting hurt. because the answer will be no. I can feel it. I'm too complicated and needy? am i really too needy? I justt need to be loved .. but dont we all? so does that make all of us needy? I honestly dont know wat to do after he says no. Stay single? but how can i do that when he has my heart and I just want affection .. hugging kissing ... holding .. i want fucken butterflies and love. I want to be loved. I know that sounds stupid but i honestly dont care .. its how i feel. I was switched out of my math class because i was failing. This stuff I'm learning now is tons easier but i bet i'll still end up failing.. hahaa my love life is equal to my math grades .. working my ass off yet i still fail.


wat to do ? sit wait ... I'm done waiting .. if the answers no . which it will me .. then i will put on a smile and act like im getting over him . I'll act like im moving on ... but i dont want to move on .. now when he knows the most about me then anyone else. Not when he listens and understands me and everything just feels right when im will him .. how could you let something that amazing go?


why am i so afraid of losing him ... when he was never even mine?
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