I hope you live a life that you’re proud of and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.-Benjamin Button

Time heals all wounds

To me; fearless is not the absence of fear. its not being completely unafraid. to me; fearless is having fears. fearless is having doubts. lots of them. to me; fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. fearless is falling madly in love again; even though you’ve been hurt before. fearless is walking into your freshmen year of high school at fifteen. fearless is getting back up & fighting for what you want over and over again; even though every time you’ve tried before, you’ve lost. its fearless to have faith that someday things will change. fearless is having the courage to say goodbye to someone who only hurts you, even if you can’t breathe without them. i think its fearless to fall for your best friend, even though hes in love with someone else. & when someone apologizes to you enough times for things they’ll never stop doing, i think its fearless to stop believing them. its fearless to say “you’re not sorry”, and walk away. i think loving someone despite what people think is fearless. i think allowing yourself to cry on the bathroom floor is fearless. letting go is fearless. then, moving on and being alright; thats fearless too. but no matter what love throws at you, you have to believe in it. you have to believe in love stories & prince charmings & happily ever after. thats why i write these songs. because i think love is fearless.~Taylor swift

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

what I really think

Wow soo .. i love how everyone thinks I'm an amazing friend .. okii well obviously I am an amazing friend,but its because I actually care about helping people. I guess its now just what I'm known for. I yes I like perry, but I am glad that he will still be in my life. Maggie on the other hand should have called my all the way echeemmm ... I would have talked to you, but I am glad that you called suicide hotline. And that you are getting better? You should tell you psychologist everything, but thats only if you want help. I dyed my hair and It looks weird butbutbut .. yeah and I am working all next week. I feel so alone ... I am an amazing friend and I love giving advice and helping people, but I need physical I need to feel loved .. and i need a hug not a stupid hug I need a full body long lasting reassuring hug. Not that I dont get hugs everyday but I need this one certain hug .. I need a hug from someone I like .. like perry ... just a soft and tight hug letting me know I'm not alone. I feel like .... I dont want my life to be wasted so I start helping people now even though i am so young or so they say. 16 is not young anymore 16 is young adult 16 is driving age and in italy you can drink at 16 too. 16 is an age where if you kill someone you get charged as an adult and the consequences get harsher as you get closer to going into the real world. Drug are more obvious, but stay away from those. I want to live long so I can help more then one life. I want to make a difference I want to hold a heart in the palm of my hand. And I am so thankfull that I have no gag reflex. I am thankful that it has been 69 days of me not cutting and on the 100th day . I am going to celebrate because My life has a fresh new beginning. I love it. I love everthing, I just hate that feeling of being oh so alone and I wish I could fix it, but theres nothing I can really do about it except sit back and keep my phone on and give people the help/ advice they need because at the end of the day it doesnt matter who I have a crush on, but rather the fact that my friends are all happy and ok.
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