I hope you live a life that you’re proud of and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.-Benjamin Button

Time heals all wounds

To me; fearless is not the absence of fear. its not being completely unafraid. to me; fearless is having fears. fearless is having doubts. lots of them. to me; fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. fearless is falling madly in love again; even though you’ve been hurt before. fearless is walking into your freshmen year of high school at fifteen. fearless is getting back up & fighting for what you want over and over again; even though every time you’ve tried before, you’ve lost. its fearless to have faith that someday things will change. fearless is having the courage to say goodbye to someone who only hurts you, even if you can’t breathe without them. i think its fearless to fall for your best friend, even though hes in love with someone else. & when someone apologizes to you enough times for things they’ll never stop doing, i think its fearless to stop believing them. its fearless to say “you’re not sorry”, and walk away. i think loving someone despite what people think is fearless. i think allowing yourself to cry on the bathroom floor is fearless. letting go is fearless. then, moving on and being alright; thats fearless too. but no matter what love throws at you, you have to believe in it. you have to believe in love stories & prince charmings & happily ever after. thats why i write these songs. because i think love is fearless.~Taylor swift

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

What happend last night

Last night i did the stupidest thing ever!!!!! ... sooo like I was getting ready for bed And I got off the phone with my friend sarah. Then I turned off the light .. went to go to sleep and noticed that something was different. So I felt my wrist and there were only two bracelets and I at first was like ok ok don't panic It must be around some where. You see the thing is Its ok that it fell off I knew that was going to happen soon, but the fact that i couldnt find it got me going. I checked everywhere in the fucken house! then I started crying and left a called everyone but only rachel picked up .. but she didnt know how to cheer me up soo I called 5 other people and finally eeman picked up and I was like omg! and I was having a break down and crying histerically.

So then she cheered me up and she said i should call my ex. I was like that might be a stupid idea but i hung up and called Liz. Being it was the bracelet she and I both wore when we were going out. But it Came off before and I put it back on And the thing is .. I am officially over Liz I have been for a while .. I mean like a piece of me will always be in love with her, but its like that with my other ex whom i fell in love with. Any ways So I called liz and i shouldnt have! I was so stupid to call her, but I did... And I left a message and she probably listened to it already and if she didnt hate me before she will most deffinately hate me now.

Soo I left her a message and realized after everything that the bracelet was in my pants lmao I DONT KNOW HOW IT GOT THERE SOO DONT BOTHER ASKING! ... Well I was happy because now I can hold on to the bracelet. You see when i wear something everyday for a really long ass time I have this problem where I cant through it away. I have to hold on to it .. So Its not just this specific bracelet , but its many bracelets that I have held and still hold on to today!

Soo Many of you are thinking .. ok ok she cried over the bracelet .. she had a full out break down because of the bracelet, but no thats not everything that happened. Earlier that day I was talking to my friend Megan through Im And the night before she and I both admitted we still think about each other all the time. So I talked to my friend and asked what I should do being she has a bf for nine months now, He and a few other people i asked said the same thing. If I want it bad enough I have to fight for it.

Now something you need to know about megan is that shes fragile... she gets hurt easily and i like her a lot!Sooo I told her she should break up with her boyfriend and that they didnt look cute together, but I didnt realize how much I hurt her by saying that and now shes ignoring me soo today during gym I am going to try and talk to her.

About the whole liz thing ... I was reading my diary last night and I read this entry when I have just met Liz and I liked megan and It said how much I love liz as a best friend And how glad I am that shes in my life.

thinking back now .. If i had just told megan I liked her back then she and I would be together. Liz and I would be best friends.. Maybe I would be friends with maggie .. being liz did go out with her or maybe liz would have gone back out with cassie, but I would be happy .. together .. inlove with megan and I missed my chance .. every shot that I have. And now shes happy which makes me happy, but shes happy with the guy who started flirting with her then night i was going to tell her i liked her..the guy that ruined me and He keeps hurting her and I hate seeing her hurt... I care about her soo much and I don't know what to do .. I guess Im just glad she and I are still best friends :)

eww that was too much in depth sorry and all mushy and gooshy w.e you read it didnt you ? hahaa sucks for you! xD
im soo ugh idk .. Im in class right now lol .. arent I a good student?
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