I hope you live a life that you’re proud of and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.-Benjamin Button

Time heals all wounds

To me; fearless is not the absence of fear. its not being completely unafraid. to me; fearless is having fears. fearless is having doubts. lots of them. to me; fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. fearless is falling madly in love again; even though you’ve been hurt before. fearless is walking into your freshmen year of high school at fifteen. fearless is getting back up & fighting for what you want over and over again; even though every time you’ve tried before, you’ve lost. its fearless to have faith that someday things will change. fearless is having the courage to say goodbye to someone who only hurts you, even if you can’t breathe without them. i think its fearless to fall for your best friend, even though hes in love with someone else. & when someone apologizes to you enough times for things they’ll never stop doing, i think its fearless to stop believing them. its fearless to say “you’re not sorry”, and walk away. i think loving someone despite what people think is fearless. i think allowing yourself to cry on the bathroom floor is fearless. letting go is fearless. then, moving on and being alright; thats fearless too. but no matter what love throws at you, you have to believe in it. you have to believe in love stories & prince charmings & happily ever after. thats why i write these songs. because i think love is fearless.~Taylor swift

Friday, April 16, 2010

Bomb threat/ whats with me?

There was a bomb threat at my school today. I went to school despite this because I don't know. I woke up having a weird feeling though. Why go to school feeling like that? And I was going to do day of silence, but it wasn't the official Day of silence for my school and there was a bomb threat, and on the way to school I got into a fight with my mom SHOCK! so how could I help, but to defend myself. It was a pretty interesting day. I was searched when i walked in and then when I got to class 15 kids were missing. 15! and my biggest class was 16 kids.. smallest was 5! We didn't do anything all day. And this kid said that the bomb would go off at 10:57 so they evacuated the building at that time for a good 15 minutes lmao. And the lunch lady called me fat. yes thats great I start eating like a normal person and some ugly chick calls me fat while I'm paying for food.. Bitch! .. anyways .. the bomb sniffing dogs were adorable! I saw one walking down the hall and even though we were on lock down all day I screamed "awww cute doggie!!" the guy gave me the most nasty look ever.


After school I came home, picked up my car and friend and went back to the hospital cause thats what i did yesterday too. Our friend J got into a car accident and we wanted to visit him again. Hes so sweet.. but anyways .. so after that I just came home. I've been drinking coffee and I know it's the internet and I am going to probably regret this majorly because this blog is public .. but I really want to cut, drink, smoke, not eat, go in a corner and cry. I don't want to do it to he extreme of what your thinking probably. Just cut like i normally do  did. Smoke? Drink? those are weird ... thats not like me at all. I'm not an alcoholic, but recently when I have felt sad I've craved it, but I wont let myself. And as for not eating.. I have been eating normally which is good. I don't know somethings .. just like going on with me.. and i cant explain it. Like I feel terrible but I have asked .. you know what SCREW THE NOT SAYING NAMES! lol I dont care anymore. its my blog.  I have asked john if he cares abotu me and why, alot of the past few days.. and I feel bad and annoying. Buut truth is I dont get why anyone would care about me. And I wish I didnt seem so needy .. but I just need answers you know?

I guess thats all for now
ps. My eye is soo itchy wtf!?
and im on my 3rd cup of coffee today >.<
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