I hope you live a life that you’re proud of and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.-Benjamin Button

Time heals all wounds

To me; fearless is not the absence of fear. its not being completely unafraid. to me; fearless is having fears. fearless is having doubts. lots of them. to me; fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. fearless is falling madly in love again; even though you’ve been hurt before. fearless is walking into your freshmen year of high school at fifteen. fearless is getting back up & fighting for what you want over and over again; even though every time you’ve tried before, you’ve lost. its fearless to have faith that someday things will change. fearless is having the courage to say goodbye to someone who only hurts you, even if you can’t breathe without them. i think its fearless to fall for your best friend, even though hes in love with someone else. & when someone apologizes to you enough times for things they’ll never stop doing, i think its fearless to stop believing them. its fearless to say “you’re not sorry”, and walk away. i think loving someone despite what people think is fearless. i think allowing yourself to cry on the bathroom floor is fearless. letting go is fearless. then, moving on and being alright; thats fearless too. but no matter what love throws at you, you have to believe in it. you have to believe in love stories & prince charmings & happily ever after. thats why i write these songs. because i think love is fearless.~Taylor swift

Saturday, January 16, 2010

In the end everything matters.

I don't want to commit suicide so don't even think that. I just want the shit to stop. I want the drama to fade, someone to hold me, my friends to act like friends. Everything is changing and i have abandonment issues. I cant deal with this. I can't deal with any of this! It seems like my friends are trying to get me to my break down. Is this a test to see if I'll cut again? because I'm comming close. I have no one. I just need someone to sit down with me and say "sam I care about you, I love you, please don't hurt yourself because you mean the world to me. Do it for me if you can't for yourself" but no one care enough to say that. its like everything i knew before 2010 is a lie. Junoir year sucks I can only be thankful that its almost halfway over. Everyting is crashing, and i guess all of the things i thought i would never be, or things that i thought would never matter, really so matter. I'm lost in life i don't really know who anyone around me is anymore. im scared everyday going to school. What will 4th period and 5th and 6th 7th 8th period bring? what if all of my friends backstab me more? they can break me even more then they have already. It scares me .. i m afraid that yet again in life i have no one. ... o wait i really do have no one.
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