I hope you live a life that you’re proud of and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.-Benjamin Button

Time heals all wounds

To me; fearless is not the absence of fear. its not being completely unafraid. to me; fearless is having fears. fearless is having doubts. lots of them. to me; fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. fearless is falling madly in love again; even though you’ve been hurt before. fearless is walking into your freshmen year of high school at fifteen. fearless is getting back up & fighting for what you want over and over again; even though every time you’ve tried before, you’ve lost. its fearless to have faith that someday things will change. fearless is having the courage to say goodbye to someone who only hurts you, even if you can’t breathe without them. i think its fearless to fall for your best friend, even though hes in love with someone else. & when someone apologizes to you enough times for things they’ll never stop doing, i think its fearless to stop believing them. its fearless to say “you’re not sorry”, and walk away. i think loving someone despite what people think is fearless. i think allowing yourself to cry on the bathroom floor is fearless. letting go is fearless. then, moving on and being alright; thats fearless too. but no matter what love throws at you, you have to believe in it. you have to believe in love stories & prince charmings & happily ever after. thats why i write these songs. because i think love is fearless.~Taylor swift

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

stress

Stress would be the word that I would choose to describe my life today. This year, this month, this day, its all stress. I'm sick, have math (i need to pass), ACT's next week, college shit, and I'm falling for him again. No I can't fall, he still loves sarah. God why am i even writing about this? I know no one reads this, but still I shouldnt love him. After all hes the one who hurts hurt me, but hes also the one who fixed me, the one who when I kiss everything feels perfect, and when I'm in his arms, I feel safe. Maybe Love just is avoiding me? I mean how could I feel so much for one person, when they hardly feel the same about me? Thats just pathetic. I gave liz permission to go out with bobby whose my ex. I don't feel bad about it at all, I'm just worried that it will change things. Ever since she and him started dating (this past week) I feel like shes hardly talked to me, but I think maybe I'm just being paranoid. I just .. maybe won't txt her till she texts me just incase and well .. i guess we'll get to see how long it takes her to notice ive crawled into a corner. Ive been feeling all alone as it is :/ I don't know what to do with myself anymore. I dont want to be sad, I want to be happy and feel loved and shit. Maybe, am I trying too hard? I have no idea, all i know is that I love things I shouldn't and feel things I shouldn't :x
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