I hope you live a life that you’re proud of and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.-Benjamin Button

Time heals all wounds

To me; fearless is not the absence of fear. its not being completely unafraid. to me; fearless is having fears. fearless is having doubts. lots of them. to me; fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. fearless is falling madly in love again; even though you’ve been hurt before. fearless is walking into your freshmen year of high school at fifteen. fearless is getting back up & fighting for what you want over and over again; even though every time you’ve tried before, you’ve lost. its fearless to have faith that someday things will change. fearless is having the courage to say goodbye to someone who only hurts you, even if you can’t breathe without them. i think its fearless to fall for your best friend, even though hes in love with someone else. & when someone apologizes to you enough times for things they’ll never stop doing, i think its fearless to stop believing them. its fearless to say “you’re not sorry”, and walk away. i think loving someone despite what people think is fearless. i think allowing yourself to cry on the bathroom floor is fearless. letting go is fearless. then, moving on and being alright; thats fearless too. but no matter what love throws at you, you have to believe in it. you have to believe in love stories & prince charmings & happily ever after. thats why i write these songs. because i think love is fearless.~Taylor swift

Sunday, July 25, 2010

fuck life

I miss the feelings, the emotion, the community,and the acceptance.The being able to be your complete self...the knowing who you are.. the not being ashamed or lost, the not looking back ...the trusting in yourself and the people around you..I miss all of that ...but how do i get it back ...if I keep being told I'm not that person? how do I get it back being who I am right now, in this second, how do i feel ok again?


Its like a new peace has come over me as i sit on my bed in this dorm room just thinking to myself. My cutting urges have faded away with good reason as I have learned a little more about myself and who I am, but when I got a boyfriend things started to confuse me a little bit more each day. I feel bad at times because i know I should be a better person, but honestly I'm doing the best that I can, being the destroyed me.  So when I sit here and the problem isn't cutting. Its not abuse. Its just me ... not being attracted to guys ... And I think im bi . I really do,
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